Face Your Fears
We suffer more in imagination, than in reality
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
What have you been putting off due to fear? A tough conversation with your partner? Asking your supervisor for a raise? Starting a side business? Attending a social event?
The longer we put off difficult things to avoid tension, the greater the anxiety and tension build.
Does this sound familiar? It doesn’t make sense, yet we all do it. Fear is a powerful emotion. It can motivate us to act, but often drives us to put our heads in the sand and hide.
Many fears begin after a bad experience. For example, a fear of driving after a bad car accident, or a fear of dogs after getting bit by your neighbors’ pet. Studies have shown that re-experiencing a fear can reduce our anxiety and eliminate future fear. This is called exposure therapy. Exposure therapy involves slowly and repeatedly being exposed to something that is feared, and is usually practiced under the guidance of an experienced professional, in a safe and controlled setting. This is an excellent tool if you’re dealing with crippling fear after a traumatic experience.
We can also use the principles of exposure therapy in our everyday lives, to help us with everyday fears.
10 Minute Unwinder Challenge: Face Your Fears Journal and Visualize
1. Write down the thing you are avoiding due to fear.
2. Describe your ‘worst case scenario’ for this situation in detail
3. Ask yourself these questions:
Why is this the worst?
How likely is it to happen?
What can I do to prevent this?
How can I respond if this does happen?
What is the cost of inaction?
4. Close your eyes, and spend 5 minutes imagining the scenario. Visualize yourself in the situation that creates the most fear for you. Role-play in your mind all of the other actors, rehearse your worst case scenario, and all the possible ways in which you can respond. How do the other players respond to you in each possibility? Try different tactics and plan for all possibilities. This practice can prepare you to go into whatever situation you fear with more confidence.
5. Next, go out and do the thing you’ve been putting off. The act of facing one fear will give you confidence and boldness to tackle more down the road.
Resources:
Tips for overcoming anxiety and fear
Facing your Fears with Exposure Therapy
The 5/10/15
Fuel, Energize, Unwind -on Your Time